


Don't Wait

by NeverMessWithTeddyBears



Category: Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994), Four Weddings and a Funeral (TV) (2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-09-01 00:48:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20249404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverMessWithTeddyBears/pseuds/NeverMessWithTeddyBears
Summary: Duffy tells Maya he loves her at 29. This isn't that story. Duffy tells Maya he loves her at 19, and this is that story.





	Don't Wait

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blackwidcv](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackwidcv/gifts).

Duffy tells Maya he loves her at 29. This isn't that story. Duffy tells Maya he loves her at 19, and this is that story.

* * *

He knows by the time they've finished watching _Love & Basketball_.

Duffy's not sure if they watched it three times or four already, but Maya still holds her breath when Monica and Quincy play one-on-one, and her gasp when he wins is still the same as it was the first time they watched it.

"He chooses her." Maya says, sniffling, and Duffy quickly turns his eyes away from her and back to the screen. "Isn't that beautiful?"

He looks back at her. Studies the tissue balled in her hand, the single tear that's going down her cheek and the others that still haven't left her eyes. Her eyes. He can't stop looking at them.

"Yeah." he says. "Beautiful."

He knows he loves her then.

* * *

In a way, he thinks he always knew.

The feeling he had in his stomach when he was around her was different when he was around Ainsley or Craig, and it reminded him of the time when he had a huge crush on his next door neighbour in elementary school and wrote five different poems to her for Valentine's Day.

But this wasn't Lucy next door who he hasn't seen since puberty lowered his voice an entire octave. This was _Maya_. Maya who was smart, and passionate, and ambitious, and beautiful, and one of his best friends, and he couldn't risk it. Wouldn't let himself risk it.

She laughs reading the short story he wrote for his writing class. His professor suggested he send it in to the New Yorker. He wanted Maya's opinion first. Their eyes meet for a second and he smiles, nodding for her to continue.

"God, Duffy." she says, putting the papers down once she's finished. "This is so good."

He looks down, embarrassed. "Thanks, Maya."

She reaches out, then. Hugs him. "I'm proud of you."

He closes his eyes, breathes her in.

He can't lose this.

* * *

Ainsley corners him after she volunteers them to go get the take-out to celebrate surviving their first batch of exams for the year. She doesn't leave a lot of room for protest as she grabs Duffy by his forearm so hard he thinks he'll have her fingernails carved onto his skin for the rest of his life, tosses him his coat and leads them out of the dorm, leaving Maya and Craig deciding on what trashy television reality show they'll be watching first.

"You're hurting me." Duffy says as he finally manages to get away from her iron grasp and rubs his arm to help the pain.

Ainsley doesn't turn around to address him. "You like Maya."

"I don't." he replies but too slowly. He wouldn't believe himself, either.

Ainsley turns around halfway down the stairs. "Look, Duff, I'm not blind. You love her."

Duffy sighs. "Yeah, I do." he admits. "But I won't do anything about it." he shrugs. "I can't."

He hates the way Ainsley looks at him. It's sad; as if she's hurt. Bordering on pity, but he hopes she'd never pity him. "_Duffy_." her voice is gentle. She walks up the few steps between them, grabs his forearm again but this time it doesn't hurt. Or, at least it hurts for different reasons. "Why not?"

He doesn't look at her. "Because she doesn't feel the same way, Ains." he says. "And that okay. But I can't put our friendship on the line like that." he moves away and goes down the stairs. "The three of you... I've never had a family, not really." he pauses at the bottom of the stairs to finally look up at her again. She hasn't moved. "You're my best friends. I won't ruin that."

Ainsley doesn't say anything for a moment, not until she's at the last stair down, where she can meet him at the same height. "Listen to me, Duffy." she says. "You deserve to be happy. Okay?"

Duffy doesn't say anything.

* * *

"Who's the girl?" Craig fires as he sits down at the bar, putting their beers down.

Duffy stills, mouth slightly open. Ainsley shares a look with him but says nothing, and he tries not to look at Maya but with her sitting directly opposite him next to Craig, he can't help but catch her confused look.

"Duffy has a girlfriend?" Maya asks and Duffy shakes his head, but Craig replies before he can say anything.

"No, and that's the problem." he says. "Because now he's just pining."

Duffy rolls his eyes. "I'm not pining!"

Craig points at him. "You are." he says, taking a sip of his beer. Ainsley says nothing. "Seriously, who is she?"

"It doesn't matter." Duffy says, looking down at his beer and playing with the label that's coming off because of the condensation. "Can we please just move on?"

Craig shrugs. "Fine by me." he says. "But this isn't the end of it."

The conversation moves on, but later when they're heading home, Maya falls into step with him. "Whoever she is," she says, smiling up at him. There's something in her eyes he can't quite read. "she's one lucky girl to be loved by you, Duffy."

He changes the subject.

* * *

It stays with him: _You deserve to be happy._ Is he happy? Sure, he's with his friends and he calls his mother once a day and he's taking classes that he loves and working on his novel, but.

Whenever he sees Maya, a warm fuzzy feeling hugs him and goes from the tips of his fingers to the bottom of his toes and it's the most happy he's ever felt but there's also a sharp pain when she smiles at him and he wants nothing more than to tell her he loves her but he can't.

He _can't_.

Why can't he?

And so he thinks, maybe Ainsley is right.

They're walking together to the coffee shop, laptops in tow, and as they sit down and order he asks, "What if I tell her?" he asks. "What if I tell her and she doesn't feel the same way and I screw everything up."

Ainsley doesn't need him to explain. "No matter what happens, Duffy, you'll get to move on." she says. "Think about it. Think about going the rest of your life and forever wondering _what if _simply because you were scared." she puts a reassuring hand on his. "Five seconds of courage. That's all it takes."

Duffy nods.

"Now shut up and help me with my paper."

They laugh.

* * *

"I'm in love with you."

She has his coat over her head sheltering her from the rain, and he can barely see her through his soaked glasses. She stops in her tracks and turns around, looking up at him. She drops his coat to her shoulders.

She laughed and this time he couldn't stop himself from telling her. Five seconds of courage, that's what Ainsley said. Five seconds.

He already had five. He's already said it. So what's five more?

"I wasn't going to say anything." he says and it's the truth. He wasn't. But then she did a joke, a simple one, one that made him laugh. And she complained about the rain and how it would soak her. And she thanked him for the coat and looked at him and he didn't think he could love her more. And then he said something dumb - he can't remember it himself, even - but she laughed, his coat over her head, her hair falling damp around her face, her eyes twinkling - and he just couldn't; he couldn't _not _tell her. "Because you're my best friend and I don't want to lose that. To lose you." he continues. The rain has soaked him to his bones, but he can't feel the cold. "But I _can't_.. I can't live my life stuck. I can't find myself in ten years wondering what could've been if I told you sooner or wondering whether I should have."

Maya steps closer to him and he looks down at her.

"So. I love you. I love talking to you, I love hanging out with you, walking with you, getting coffee with you, studying until the sun comes up and then waking up when the sun sets. I love watching you read my writing and the way you edit every sentence. I love getting take-out and watching movies with you and I would watch _Love & Basketball_ for the rest of my life with you if you let me."

She laughs, shaking her head, and he can't tell if she's crying or if it's just the rain.

"And I know we're young and that's a dumb thing to say - especially to ramble on in the middle of the street as its pouring worse than in a Jane Austen novel - but I have never loved anyone like this, Maya." he says. "You are smart, and talented, and ambitious and beautiful. And I love you. From the moment I met you, I loved you, and every day since I've loved you more."

He steps closer to her but he's still so far, can hear the thunder rumble. Her hair is soaked now, she's shivering even in his coat. He's probably shivering too; he doesn't know whether from the cold or the nerves.

"You don't have to say it back. I'm not expecting anything from you." he explains. "I just.. I just wanted you to know."

For a moment she doesn't say anything, just looks at him, and he doesn't know what that means, doesn't know what should come next. He's all out of courage.

But, before he can find an excuse to run away, she speaks. "Duffy.." she says softly, her voice almost lost in the rain, and the next thing he knows she's running into his arms, her lips finding his as she kisses him deeply.

Duffy's hands go around her waist, resting on her back and pulling her close as one of her hands cups his cheek and the other ruffles his damp hair. They kiss for what feels like hours, the cold around him suddenly disappearing, and he feels like he could fly, like he's the strongest man in the world, so he nudges her up to lift her and her legs go around his waist.

When they finally pull away, he doesn't let her go. His coat is somehow still on her shoulders, and she looks at him as their foreheads touch.

Maya smiles and he finds himself smiling back. He feels like he can hear both their hearts beating a million beats per minute. "Caleb, I am one lucky girl." she says, his first name sounding so foreign but so right. "To be loved by you."

He looks at her through the raindrops on his glasses. She's as beautiful as ever.

* * *

She gives him his birthday present five months later; a brown leather bound journal she wrapped in leftover Christmas wrappings.

"I know it's not much." she says. "But I'm broke."

He chuckles, shaking his head. "You really didn't have to get me anything."

Maya shrugs. "I wanted to."

He thanks her, kissing her lips then her hair as she leans into him.

"Open it."

There, on the first page, is a dedication.

_I can't wait to read everything you write._   
_I love you._   
_Maya_

* * *

They do a year abroad in London, and even though they all talk about moving there one day, Craig and Ainsley are the only ones who do it.

Years later, all of them have - by some grace of God - managed to find jobs with benefits. Maya works for the state senator, Craig works for a successful finance company in London where Ainsley has her own design business, and Duffy got a good deal for his first novel. At one point, it was a thousand pages long, and he's been working on it since his last year of college. Maya's helped him trimmed it to six hundred, and he's working on his final draft to send it in to his editor by the end of the year.

Craig and Ainsley visit for Thanksgiving. Maya and Duffy's apartment isn't too big - though the rent might suggest it - but they all fit comfortably, and Ainsley talks their ears off about the new man she's dating and how he might be the one. Craig, meanwhile, is unusually silent.

"Hey, man." Duffy catches him as they help clear out before bringing in some coffee and dessert. "Is everything okay?"

Craig grabs the chocolate cake and takes it to the table without saying a word. Duffy follows him, setting down the coffee and sits down, his arm going around Maya's chair. Maya leans into him and they share a look. Actually, it's more of a conversation; they're all worried.

Craig takes out his phone. "I, uh." he says. "I got a message on Facebook."

Ainsley looks at him, concerned, and puts an arm on his shoulder. "Craig, are you alright?"

"Yeah, uh." he looks up at her, crying silently. "I.. I have a daughter, Ains."

Maya grabs Duffy's hand as she gives him another look, and then she gets up to go to Craig, hugging him from the back of the chair he's sitting on as Ainsley hugs him from the front.

"It's going to be okay, Craig." Maya says. Craig can feel Ainsley nod on his shoulder. Duffy catches his look and gives him a comforting smile.

It's going to be okay.

* * *

Duffy proposes on a random Sunday morning after the sun wakes them up.

Blinking away sleep, Maya looks up at him and kisses him through a smile, and as she falls back down between the pillows and sheets, Duffy gets up and goes to his dresser, opening the sock drawer and taking out a pair.

"You're cold?" she asks as he's pulling them apart. Her eyes are half-closed, but once he takes out the box her eyes grow wider, more alert.

He barely opens his mouth to speak before she's jumping out of the bed and towards him. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" she yells, putting her arms around his neck and pulling him in to drown him with kisses.

"I.." he tries to speak against her lips. "I had a whole speech planned." he manages to get out. "Do you wanna hear it?"

"Later." she says. "Just put it on." when she looks at him her eyes are filled with tears and she can't stop smiling. Her hand is shaking with excitement as she gives it to him. "I just want it on."

When he puts it on her finger, she grabs him by his chin for another kiss.

* * *

They do a little ceremony in his mother's back yard with her father and a few friends in attendance. Ainsley is her maid of honor, Craig is Duffy's best man, and his daughter is the flower girl. Ainsley broke up with her last boyfriend so she came alone, but Craig came with his girlfriend Zara and she cries with joy through the whole ceremony, though they've never met before. The ring bearer is the son of Gemma and Quentin, friends Ainsley introduced them to when they were first back in London after their year abroad and she had moved, and along with a few of their highschool friends and other relatives their guest list is rounded out.

They say vows they wrote themselves and manage to get to the _I do_s before the rains forces them to run back into the house, laughing. Maya and Duffy don't mind it in the least, letting the rain soak them as he picks her up and twirls her around. He's in a black tux, and her white dress gets mud on the very ends of it from the grass, her heels falling through. They laugh as he carries her through the treshold.

Later, when she throws the bouquet, Ainsley catches it.

It's no surprise when two years later, they're flying to London for her engagement party.

* * *

"What did you think of Kash?" Duffy asks her as they take off their engagement party costumes. She went with _Love & Basketball_, while Duffy settled on _Say Anything_. No one got their costumes.

Maya puts on her pajamas and heads to the bathroom to brush her teeth. "I think.." she pauses, putting toothpaste on her toothbrush. She looks up at Duffy, and he can tell she's not too happy with Ainsley's fiancee. "I think he's not happy." she says. "And I think he'll break her heart."

Duffy smiles sadly. He gets up and kisses her temple as she brushes her teeth. He puts down the toilet seat and sits down on it, Maya reaching for his hand. Their wedding bands make a low hum as they brush against each other when they entangle their fingers.

"I hope you're wrong." Duffy says, and the look Maya gives him tells him she hopes so, too.

* * *

Kash leaves Ainsley at the altar.

Maya is the closest to reach her, but Craig and Duffy aren't far behind.

"I.. I need to leave." Ainsley says and Maya nods, taking her hand.

"It's okay, honey." Maya says. "It's gonna be okay."

When Ainsley sits down in the back room, tears sliding down her face, Craig silently curses. There's a knock at the door, and Zara and Gemma walk in. "Quentin's taking care of the guests." Gemma says. She walks to Ainsley. "Oh, darling-"

Ainsley pulls her into a hug, clinging on to her. Gemma is visibly uncomfortable, but she hugs Ainsley back.

They stay there, barely talking, until Quentin comes to get them.

* * *

"He told me he was pretending." she says to them one night after the wedding as they're all huddled around Gemma's living room. "That he wasn't the man I thought he was."

Quentin is sitting on a sofa in the corner of the room, nursing a glass of scotch. He gets up, takes Ainsley's glass silently and refills it. She smiles at him, sad but grateful. As he sits back down, this time next to Gemma, Ainsley looks back at Maya and continues.

"But I loved that man." she says. "I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him."

"We know, honey." Zara says, putting a comforting hand on her knee. "It's okay. Let it out."

Ainsley cries until she falls asleep. Craig and Duffy help carry her to bed before everyone leaves to get home.

* * *

Maya's vacation days are coming to an end and she has to face the idea of having to go back home and leave her friend at the worst time of her life. Like always in life, she weighs her options, rearranges her priorities. Then, she speaks with her husband.

"I want to quit my job and move here." she says. "We always said we'd move to London one day; you said you could write from anywhere and there are plenty of politicians who need their speeches written here as well."

"And we can't leave Ainsley." Duffy finishes for her, a light smile on his face. "Okay." he agrees.

It takes them a month and one trip to the U.S. to get their things and then they're officially moved across the pond, renting a flat until they find a place they can afford to buy.

They're happy.

* * *

Ainsley calls her one night, frantic.

"What's wrong?" Maya asks, barely awake. Beside her, Duffy wakes up and turns on the light, putting on his glasses.

"Everything okay?" he whispers and Maya shakes her head.

"I don't know." she whispers back.

"Maya, it's Quentin." Ainsley sobs. "I'm at their place, the ambulance just arrived." she pauses to compose herself. "Maya, he's dead."

* * *

"To Quentin Thorpe-Bloode." Gemma ends the eulogy, raising her glass. "A man as exciting as a Chelsea match, as enchanting as an ABBA song, and as intoxicating as a bottle of scotch."

Maya's sitting up front next to Duffy, her hand holding his tight. She almost stayed at work and didn't show up; she hasn't been at a funeral since her mother passed away, and the memory still breaks her all over again. Duffy gives her hand a light squeeze, his thumb drawing circles on the back of it. She relaxes, and raises her own glass higher.

To Quentin.

"We'll miss you, you handsome old bastard."

When they're outside sitting on one of the benches in the church garden, Duffy takes his hands out of his pockets and places them in her lap. He then moves and kneels in front of her, ruining his suit but also not caring. She assumes people rarely care about the state of their funeral suits; maybe they hope if they ruin them, they'll never have to go to another one again. She thinks she'll spill some wine on her dress later.

"When Gemma was talking about love, I couldn't stop thinking about something."

She takes one of her hands and puts it on his cheek. "About what?"

"All those years ago." he starts. "When we were young and in college and I was in love with you and so scared to tell you." she softly caresses his cheek with her thumb and he leans into it, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before continuing. "And that day in the rain, how you laughed and I remembered what Ainsley said-"

"_Ainsley_?"

"About how all I needed was five seconds of courage. Just five seconds. And then I had another five and another. And how it went from being the scariest moment of my life to the most relieved I've ever felt to the happiest I ever thought I could be." he says. Pausing, he leaves a kiss on her palm. "And now I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful that I told you then. Because I could've wasted all this time. All these years - we are so happy - and I could've wasted it by being afraid." he reaches up with one of his hands and pulls her down into a kiss. "I'm so glad I didn't waste a second longer than I already had."

Maya smiles. Their foreheads are touching, and she can't look away from him. Never wants to. He's crying. She thinks she is, too.

"I'm glad you didn't, either."

* * *

Craig and Zara get married next year, all lavish and extravagant and everything Maya and Duffy's wedding wasn't.

Except that it's also happy, and full of love and joy and when they say their vows, Maya turns to Duffy and kisses him. He can taste her tears. "I'm so happy for Craig." she says. "For the both of them."

"Yeah." Duffy smiles. "Me too." he kisses her again.

Later, when she's talking to Ainsley, she tells her she thinks she's pregnant.

"_Oh my God_!" Ainsley yells. "That's amazing!" she hugs her friend tightly. When they pull away, she takes Maya's hand in hers. "That's what I want for myself, you know." she says, a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. "What you and Duffy have. I want that love for me."

Maya sighs, looking at her friend with all the love she has for her. She wants to cry, but blames it on the hormones. "And you'll have that. I just know it."

Ainsley nods.

(She catches the bouquet again.)

* * *

She passes off Lizzie to Duffy and kisses them both. "I love you." she says as she straightens her dress and gives them a pointed look. "Behave."

"Why are you looking at me?!" Duffy asks, mock offended. He adjusts Lizzie in his arms and nuzzles her cheek, kissing her. "It's not my fault this little one can't stay quiet, huh, love?"

Maya shakes her head, laughing, and then goes to take her place as Ainsley's maid of honor.

As Ainsley is saying her vows, her eyes find Duffy's and she mouths, "I love you."

"We love you, too." Duffy mouths back as Lizzie laughs in joy.

She thinks her heart might burst from all the love she feels.

* * *

Maya is 29 when she falls in love with her best friend. This isn't that story. Maya is 19 when she falls in love with her best friend, and this is that story.


End file.
